As I sat at my computer, RPG-maker open, Yaoi folder open, and a heap load of Tabs lurking around my Firefox, I came across this diamond. I saw the trailer for this movie on Youtube. I gasped. My face was actually like - :O. Being rather manly myself, and a massive fan of the action genre, a film with this many heroes in it, and this many explosions in it, I set myself the task of actually getting off my ask to watch this beauty. I did. In the Cinema. With food. Drink. And friends. It was cool. Damn cool.
So, the movie starts with terrorists. DAMN YOU TERRORISTS. What are they like?
Then. Dolph Lundgren blows one of them in half with a shotgun.
For some reason, I feel like this review should just finish now. Nothing more should be said, and anybody who has just read that line, should go watch the movie now. Drop everything, your wife is giving birth, your mum just died, or the kids are screaming about something shit, drop it. Go watch this fucking movie now. But d'ya know what, I shall cloud over all of your thoughts with even more awesomeness by going on about this film even more.
By the way, I think it's Dolph who blows someone up...I can't remember, they are just all so awesome...
On the subject of Dolph though, he's still fucking hot.
ANYWAY~
The film literally is godly. Did I mention that, Sylvester Stallone, is ACTUALLY Zeus and such, no? I didn't? Well, shit, for making this film, he is.
Personally, I hear a lot of people talk about plot shit, not much character development considering the MAHOOSIVE CAST OF AWESOMENESS, and the part where Sly replies with 'ONLY YOUR MOTHER' to something about who's working with him. People go on about this shit, as if to diss the film. But well, you just can't diss a film this great. Or else Jet Li will get you. This much is true.
But seriously, this film is for those who want a MAN film. The actors, well need I say anything? Are brilliant, and seeing the trio (people will know what I mean) unite, and then crack a joke about Arny wanting to be president is awesome in itself. The action is just, wow, and seeing Terry Crews fuck up people with a gun that could wipe out an entire country (and maybe more) is strangely satisfying. Sly and Jay (Jason, I'm gonna call him Jay, 'cause I can't be assed to write his name) are both very cool, and well, an odd partnership, but a very cool one. The chick in the movie, was a bit ':|' but can you blame me for not paying attention to her when I had the others guys on screen?
I like this film. I like it a lot. It's buff. And that's what I like. It's just action. Pure action.
If you are man you will watch this film. While eating metal curry, drinking beer, roaring about various things and also wearing tribal armor. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MEN DO.
Inglorious Basterds
This movie. I liked it.
Hell, I liked it. But TWO THING.
1. Where were the zombie Nazis?
2. (SPOILER WARNING) Why!? God why!? Did they kill off Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz so quickly and so easily. :'( I tell you, I was in love!
I thank you Basterds. I thank you Quentin Tarantino for finding me a new actor to oggle over.
YO SLY. IN THE NEXT EXPENDABLES FILM, HAVE TIL SCHWEIGER IN IT AND THEN I WILL OFFICIALLY LOVE HOLLYWOOD. (And that is a fucking bold statement there!)
But seriously! This film was funny, Brad Pitt made me lol too much, it was cool, the Jewish chick, content on burning Nazi's. And Eli Roth shooting Hitler repeatedly in the face!
Watch this film! It's really cool!
And 100% historically accurate! ;)
